Living Together Can Be a Good Idea
Living together is a lot different from dating. When you are dating, you are generally on your best behavior. You tend to make an effort to look good, feel good, and be good whenever you see the other person. But this isn’t a facade you can keep up 24/7. When you live together, you are going to see the good AND the bad. You will see the sick, tired, hungry, grouchy, smelly, no make up, stinky breath etc. side of the other.
Still, millions of Americans choose to dive in and live with their lover. So, someone must think it’s a good idea!
When you have dated enough but are not yet ready to get married, generally the next step is cohabitation. This will give you the chance to discover how your boyfriend or girlfriend perceives your behavior and how you need to grow.
You will start to practice the empathy and patience that are needed in a long term relationship. There will be problems, and the way you deal with them when there’s no long term commitment, may signal whether the full scale commitment of marriage is a good idea.
Another scenario where living together makes sense is when you have recently been hurt for divorce. You may be emotionally mature enough to marry but you are not ready because you are currently healing from a previous relationship. If you have been with your current partner for a while, you might decide to live together before you take the marriage plunge again.
This doesn’t mean that you should plunge right into living together before the divorce papers are signed. You probably are better off getting your feet wet in the dating market before you strike up a living arrangement.
This tends to work best when neither of you have children. Introducing children to revolving live in mates can be damaging to them.
Some people have been burned by marriage in the past and don’t want to get married again ever. But they find someone who they want to spend their days and nights with, cohabitation seems like the best solution. As long as both parties see cohabitation as the end result and not the beginning of something, you’ll get along fine.
Further, you may find that you enter into a co-habitating relationship and like it just fine. You may decide that marriage is not for you, but you continue the relationship as is.